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Modern Slots Are Neither Nostalgic Nor Fun

Recently, I decided to play some slots at an online casino. I had read an article on their website (the devil knows how I ended up there in the first place, though …) about the great fun in playing slots.

Chris Veiderfelt

The senior blog: “Life was better back in my days”

When I was younger I used to play the slots machines at gas stations for nickles. It was a harmless fun. I knew I was gonna lose, but was never in it for the money, but for the excitement. It was all about the feeling of pulling that slots handle of the bandit. The feeling of a slight physical resistance when pulling at it. And sometimes I would get lucky and see those three bars with three red cherries on each come up and I would hear ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! and a bunch of coins would fill up the little bucket beneath the machine. I would live on that thrill for days on end, even though I won nothing more than to buy myself a generous bag of candy for myself and my buddies. (It made me vastly popular at school for some time to come, though.)

I registered an account at your online casino in order to relive those juvenile slots emotions. A trip down memory lane if you may. I clicked on the slots tab and was presented by a countless number of slots options. I could feel my excitement reaching skyrocket levels right away as I was to relive my childhood on steroids.

So I jumped on to the first slots machine one on the list. This slots was just as colorful as I remembered them back in the day. And just as honky and noisy with its fun and somewhat comical sounds and blinking lamps.

But when I was about to start, I couldn’t find the slots handle at which to pull. It’s called a one armed bandit for a reason, isn’t it? Well, I guess this one wasn’t out to rob me. It was just a slots machine then. Fair enough. I guess some things change.

I began playing, but was immediately struck by the fact that none of the fruits I was used to were anywhere to be seen. Instead the reels of this particular slots machine were made up by a seemingly chaotic bunch of signs and symbols that made no apparent sense to me. Instead of a banana, an apple, a branch of cherries, a pear and a pineapple, there were transformers, cars, trucks, and … yeah, you name it. And some trucks were duplicated many times over. They just had different color combinations, which made it all even more confusing.

I played a few rounds. The traditional three reels that slots were made up by in my days, this one had six! The slots was blinking and beeping and blinking all over in a seemingly epileptic mess. I clicked on the button (very impersonal if you ask me, and much too fast) and at some point I got a bunch of slots tokens rewarded. I looked at the reels and couldn’t for the life of it figure out how on earth I had won. It seemed like a random slots reel combination was being paid off.

Later on, when I got five trucks in a row – and of the same color too! – I thought I was in for a six digit treat and a half-year round the world cruise with the old mistress. Instead, it gave me 25x of my minimum bet.

I still keep up with this day and age. I embrace new inventions and ideas, but in some ways things sure were better back in the days. Slots machines are certainly one of them. This slots session wasn’t just a mere disappointment. It kind of killed my childhood memories and buried them. And this is sad to me, because those numerous slots experiences I had as a child made up for a big part of my connection to my upbringing. Without sounding melodramatic, this slots machine session kind of killed a part of me. And having been technically stripped of some of my identity, I now feel like I aged 15 years after having played slots online.

I blame no one for this. I should have known better than to chase down old memories and dreams. Yet, I cannot help but regret this slots experience for the remainder of my days.